called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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