careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
