he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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