I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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