How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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