Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
