whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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