i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
