Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this will be a night to untag.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
