I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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