I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
