just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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