is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
