Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
