Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
