the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
accomplished twins. life is a go
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
