Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
