U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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