I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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