dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
