I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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