i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
