She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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