I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
