This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
