Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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