Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
