The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
