i barfeds in our rink
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I just put wine in my tea
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize