I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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