I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
