just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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