Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
