i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
