after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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