I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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