Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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