You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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