I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
not ubering you a puppy
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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