I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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