Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
im on a boat
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