I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
