Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
