why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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