I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
