we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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