Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
