everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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