First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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