Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
