I wish I could teleport
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
