that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
